u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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