Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize