dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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