I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize