i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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