I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
