Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
