I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
