I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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