i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
