Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
