If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
