All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize