Say something about gay babies.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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