fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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