I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
