I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
