This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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