pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
