i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize