I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
