I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize