I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
