my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize