Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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