Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
