would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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