I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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