areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
