That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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