He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize