His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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