If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
