didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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