Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
