i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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