we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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