I feel great
I just peed on a car
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
