Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
