What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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