hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
