I am spending my child support on dildos
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize