I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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