$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
