We're facebook friends in real life
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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