I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
