bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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