I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
