we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
