Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
