I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize