i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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