Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
