Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
