ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
