you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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