He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
