Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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