So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
