I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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