He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
