I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
