I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize