let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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