Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
