It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize