Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
