This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
